A New World
by Mister Self Destruct
Summary: Rated M for launguage and possible sexual scenes in later chapters. Humans in Equstria. Pairing between my OC and Fluttershy. Me Whayne, and my friend Samual are teleported to Equestria and face adventure, humor, and destiny. Grab your lotion, if you know what I mean...
1. Prologe

For starters me and my friend have been bronies for less than a year and have been friends for two years. Becoming bronies, ironicly, improved and demoted our friendship somewhat. But we became best friends when we were teleported to Equestria. My friend, unlike me, has always wanted to go to Equestria even if he had to leave all his friends and family forever. I, almost like Applejack, will never leave my family for anything but this time I didn't really have a choice.

**Present Time**

I was sitting on my front porch wacthing the redneck wilderness, which is gun shooting, deer running, and trucks driving around. But I was also thinking; thinking about life in my philosophical mind set at that time. At that time I just fell asleap at apparently the same time my friend did (he told me later) and it felt like the most deep sleep I ever had. The only problem was that I wasn't sleeping, I was put into a magical coma.

**Sometime Later**

I woke up next to my friend, his real name is Samual, and he was aleardy aware at what happened. I looked at him in my half-asleep state and say with a half-dead zombie manner "Bro, where the hell are we?" He said in a sarcastic way "Where do you think?" I imediatly looked all around, absorbing everything and I realized that we were in a cartonized world with PONIES! I emited a middle-pitched shreak and I almost died from excitment then I remembered my family back on Earth. The overly content emotion was reduced to nothing and my face was with a depresed look. My friend, who is emotionly dead, wondered what was wrong with me with a question "Uhh, dude, you okay?"

I looked lazily in front of me and saw a pink fuzzy ball of infinate happiness jump towards my immediate location. I could not contain my emotions and fell to pieces as I looked straight forward at the one and only Pinkie Pie. My friend, who is still emotionly dead, could not and will not understand my happiness nor will ever feel as what I did at that moment. I stood up but fell straight down and landed back into a bush. I looked at my legs to see why I did not have my balance. I was overjoyed that I was a pony also. I imediatly checked for wings/horns and I found no wings but a horn. My friend who was actualy turning into one right now, of course he was behind me in transformation. It was like a bright rainbowish light and he was unconcious for it. He spawned as a pegasus, oh how original a unicorn and a pegusus. He was still asleep and I poked him with my horn, as I did not know how to use it at that moment.

But then, as he awoke, I turned my attention to my favorite pony who was now directly standing in front of me with a bewildered and overjoyed face. It was with confusion of two creatures, of which she did not recognize, turn into two "guests", we all know what will happen next when she regains her Pinkie logic. She said with a happy scream, that could be heard from Canterlot and back, "SURPRISE PARTY." Of course, I was trying to fathom the situation and I realized that we were sent here on purpose. You see, me and my friend are equalivent to the elements of harmony back on Earth and are pure of spirit. The rest of the mane six came up and Twilight was the first pony to give a good explaination.


	2. Sugarcube Corner

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, I just want to say, before we get this fucking awesome fanfiction going, is that I tend to update alot in a few days then stop for maybe a few weeks; so just be patient.

Twilight's explaination/introduction began with "You were teleported here by the order of princess Celestia and Luna themselves. We are aware that we are part of a television show in your universe. Time in your universe will not resume until you two die in this one, you have earned the right to live in this world because, without you, we will have trouble stopping dangers to come; you see, you are the equalivent to the Elements of Harmony on your planet as we are to ours." Samual, who probably felt emotion for the first time, was estatic and stood up just to fall back down in this new pony form. He realized that he was now a pony, like me, and checked for wings/horns and he was overjoyed that he had exactly what he wanted, wings.

He asked, in his teenage way, "Got any food?" Pinkie, who said with the most overjoyed, but normal for her, way, "You will have plenty of food and drink at the party!" Samual asked again "Is it now?" Pinkie yelled in her normal manner "YEESSSSS!" Just then she was bouncing on my chest then onto my friend's then back onto mine and so forth and so on. I just chuckled as she went on with her cliche personality.

I was the first one, of our duo, to stand up without falling and take a few "baby" steps. I just moved very slowly and carefully while my friend mimicked my stragety. I, with my friend staggering along, walked to Sugarcube Corner for the party and food. I walked straight in and put my hands, no hooves now, on one of Pinkie's most famous baked goods. I closed my eyes and reached forward as a cupcake, which stuck to my hoof with all the sugar, was now attached to my hoof. I just laughed, in a way more gentle and quiet then Fluttershy could even hope for. I licked the frosting off my hoof and my eyes were dialated, way beyond the point of drugs could ever do, and I just shivered as the awesomeness ran down my horse body and almost put me into a sugar coma. "Bro, bro, bro, yo got to try one these cupcakes" I said. My friend replied with his normal smart-ass way "I thought you didn't like cupcakes." "Well I do now" I chucled even quieter than the first time.

"Hey Pinkie Pie, can you sing your cupcake s-" I was rudely and abruptly interupted. "YES" the overhappy mared screamed as it resonated throughout Ponyville. Just then music kicked in with one of my favorite, less than one minute songs. She sang her cupcake song and did the same exact motions as she first did it. I walked over to the mare that I, personaly, have a fictional crush on. I just smiled while she hid behind her gorgeous pink mane. "So, uhh... your name" she asked in a shy manner. "Me", I blushed, "My name is Whayne" as I attempted to mimick her voice register.

Samual, that I know of, did not have any kind of crush what-so-ever, whether they be of fictional charecters or not. So, he went on devouring the snacks and quenching his never-ending thirst as my heart was racing and my stomach full of a swarm of a million butterflys. Never did I thought that I would be meeting the ultimate crush I have ever had. I steped towards Fluttershy once more as she allowed me to do so. "Was it possible that she could love me too" I thought to myself.


	3. Awake

The party went on, for what it seemed like hours; and I found out something new about real Equestria; their world, unlike the cartoon, was more like ours; even though it was still a little childish. They had alchohal, without a crazy name like, as follows, "Applejack Daniels"; as an example.

When it finally did end; I was drunk as fuck, I could not have enough beer, because of, I being, a redneck. Samual was even more drunk, due to his never ending thirst. I was wobbling around, in my new pony body, with my shit face on and my beer goggles on. Samual had no negative effect of being drunk (how the fuck does he do it? [big liver or something?]

I finally passed out on the floor and he soon followed. When I awoke; I was in, my crush's cottage. "Yo Fluttershy, how ya doing?," I said in a more southern draw that I would normaly speak in. "Ummm..." she replied in a nervous, but normal for her, tone. She did not say another word for a little while.

I looked over to the east side of the cottage; I saw Samual lifting up a bottle of white rum, over his head, with magic, he wasn't even a unicorn (WTF?) I thought maybe I was performing that with my hangover; I wasn't... I spent the next few moments fathoming the situation and recalling moments of last night; or possibly a few nights, I was that drunk!

I recalled nothing (that compliments this short paragraph!)

I managed to get on my hooves, and walk out the door; avoiding falling down as I went. Samual stayed behind, drinking his rum, and somehow avoiding becoming drunk again. As I went into Ponyville; I attempted to memorize the roads the first time, I almost did. I walked into somesort of resturant, I couldn't see the name because I was still near-sighted and I did not have my glasses. I walked in and I imediatly saw a pink ball which I recognized even with blurry vision. She bounced over and tackled me; with more strength then any American Football player could not imagine of. "Uggghhh, hi Pinkie." I said in a very hangover voice. Her reply stabbed through my eardrums like a knife; and gave me a migrane every word, "Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi, how are you doing?; I'm doing fine!". "Hey, but uh, Pinkie; can you get me some food, pretty please? I said, while, at the end, I added a little cuteness to it. "Oh, so your a wittle hungry, wittle Whayne?" She said, like the woman who would pinch a child's cheeks; then she did just that, but with her hoof.

She took me back to her place (no, I am not putting that in here, you little perverts!) She gave me some food, that I really needed, and more importantly; a place away from my crush. As much as I liked spending time with Fluttershy, I was afraid that if she turned around and walked away; a boner may show (me gusta, face; insert here). So as I spent time with the infinate happiness, divide by zero pony; I became more happy while my hangover slowly receaded. Over the course of an hour, Samual finally got off his lazy ass and found me; he was not drunk in the least bit and did not have a hangover; I looked to see if his cutie mark was a shotglass or a bottle of whiskey, it wasn't. So as me, Samual, and Pinkie Pie; spent time together, I realized that in this world, Friendship is magic. Then my friend abadoned us to go see his favorite pony: Vinyl Scracth; and I went to Fluttershy's cottage in an attempt to see if I can sleep there again. I am not going to try to win her over... yet.

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, me again! I got the inspiration for this chapter from, oddly enough, Godsmack. Espeically the title; it is the name of a Godsmack album and song. Next chapter, I am, hopefully, going to attempt to put the lyrics of a Godsmack song into it, proabably when my character is traveling. AVRERDERCHI (or how, the fuck ever, it is spelled!)


	4. Goin' Down

**Author's Note: **This is probably going to be a very short update; I don't own a computer, at my house, and I have to update wherever I can. So deal with it! Oh, I have no spell check, what-so-ever, and there is going to be some bad spelling; but hopefully no bad grammer!

* * *

As I entered Fluttershy's property, I stopped and admired the everything. I admired the beautiful trees, animals, and most importantly; Fluttershy. She blew everything out of the water as she cared for the animals. She was so graceful in her flying abilities, even though she was a clutz most of the time. Then she turned around and looked at me; blushing as she did so, and so did I.

"Oh, Whayne, your here. Do you need to sleep here again?" She asked.

"Yeah, I do" I replied.

"Well, follow me." She said as she turned and left the area.

She walked into the cottage, avoiding many animals along the way. I also attempted that 'feat' but that concluded with I stepping on a very familar rabbit, Angel (OH SHIT!) Angel quickly turned around, glaring at me immediatly and Fluttershy stopped as she stopped hearing hoofsteps.

"No, Angel. We don't hurt ponies here." She said while I remembered when Angel bitch-slapped Fluttershy (irony!)

Angel completly ignored her and continued staring me down; I stared right back, making sure not to make any intemadating posture mistakes (like stiffiing legs or allowing adrenline to take over.) He came at me like a cat on a rat and I prepared for the worst. At that moment Fluttershy jumped in front of me, performing her first brave action I have ever seen. Angel actually stopped in front of her, and put on a expression saying "Get out of my way before I make you."

Fluttershy just stood there, not moving a single muscle; not even her heart. I stepped beside her, as I would not allow any female to get hurt because of me or in front of me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well there it is, hope you liked it. If any of you can help me with my sexual terminology, I would appreciate it very much? I would like to prepare for the clop chapter as much as I can and I think I am a bit rusty with sexual slanguage. Just review with a bunch of modern names for the atanomy and positions and I will make it a lot better. Oh, and just so you guys don't get the wrong idea, the clop won't appear for A WHILE! Okay? Also, the titles will probably lack revelance to the chapter because I just want to name them after Godsmack songs(Chapter One and Two are discounted.)


	5. Cryin' Like A Bitch!

**Author's Note: **Okay, this chapter's name acutally has some revelance to the BEGAINING of this chapter. It also fits the song that it is named after pretty well.

* * *

I moved Fluttershy away, OH BABY I TOUCHED HER! But, I did not allow the sexual lust to affect me. Angel came SPRINTING toward me and I just let out a yell that could rival Sully Erna's singing. I put out a hoof and STOPED THAT FUCKING RABBIT DEAD IN HIS TRACKS! I could feel some energy flowing through me and I thought I was going Super-Sayian (DragonBall Z reference.) Some magic started flowing through my horn and it was not any spell I have seen. Raw magic hit Angel and pushed him twenty feet back.

Fluttershy gasped at this but then thanked me for stopping him even if it did hurt him. Angel didn't have any broken bones or lacerations. I almost passed out beause apparently the magic also drains your body out as you use it AND I FUCKING USED THE SHIT OUTTA IT!

**Sometime Later...**

Me and Samual were at Twilights house. Twilight walked up to us and asked "So, what do your cutie marks mean?" I haven't really bothered to look. I bent to the side and IMMEDIATLY recoginized it. It was, from the game Team Fortress 2, the Engineer's consruction PDA. I am REALLY good with electronics so it did not surprise me. What surprised me was what my friend's was. His was, from Team Fortress 2, the Spy's sapper device. That device destroys the Engineer's equipment. I had the device that builds the Engineer's stuff as a cutie mark.

Me and Samual ERUPTED WITH LAUGHTER and we both said at the same time, with the same tone, "Oh, that fits us alright!" We explained it to Twilight and she understood better than I thought she would. I also explained what happened at Fluttershy's cottage; my magic influx. She stood there, thinking as she did. Her house became really silent. She then leviated some device that looked like the DragonBall Z power level scouter. I laughed to myself. She scanned me and I expected her to say "IT'S OVER 9000!" and break the device but all she did was walk away.

I tried using my magic at will but nothing happened. I thought that maybe I needed to learn, like at a school. I also thought that that magic influx I had eariler was jsut raw magic, that is also what I thought when I performed it.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I am going to stp it here. Sorry for it being so short, I just wanted you guys to know that I did not find a Fluttershy doll and find other ways to entertain myself... ME GUSTA, Fluttershy doll.


	6. Faceless

I was still at Twilight's house when she came back and said, "You do have some real potential, but for some reason your body has trouble releasing it. It seems that your body can only release it in times of danger or anger. Maybe in time, you can be like me."

"You know you sounded like Rainbow Dash for a second." I replied.

"Really? I have to work on that."

* * *

I was wondering Ponyville for a bit then I found Samual flying, somewhat, and trying to do some tricks. I walked below him and ecouraged him to stop for a second.

"What, Whayne?" He asked.

"Do you even know what you look like?" I inquired.

"No. Do you?"

"No. Well, Samual, you have a deep blue body and a light blue mane and tail."

"Whayne, you look like a hipster."

"I was one, well kinda one, remember?"

"Whayne, you have markings on your legs that look like tribal tatoos. You have a pure black mane and a white body."

"Awesome!" I instantly replied.

He just looked at me like if I had gone insane.

I said, "Well I, apparently, symbolize some metal music because MODERN ROCK AND DUBSHIT SUCKS!" I started laughing uncontrolably.

"It's beter than metal."

"Prove it."

He stood there, lifted up a hoof then put it down because there was no way for him to do anything dubstep-ish there.

"Well, you must symbolize dubstep somehow." I said. "I know I symbolize metal because of my dark hair that was screwed-the-fuck-up and the tatoo like things in my coat."

"Whatver, you do your thing and I'll do mine." Samual said.

"When it comes to music, agreed?" I asked.

"Agreed." We both said.

I walked over to Fluttershy's cottage. It was about four'o'clock, Equestrian time. I watched from about ten feet away as she took care of her huge anima; "collection," for lack of a more suited word. She was beautiful taking care of animals; her gentle voice, her gentle movements, and her gentle smile.

"Hey!" I said. "Can I help you, Fluttershy?"

Sadly, poor Fluttershy was quite startled and she about had a heart attack.

"Oh, uh, I guess you can." She replied, with a startled tone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to spook ya'll." I looked around saying that to every animal there and Fluttershy.

"It's okay, you didn't mean to do that anyway, Whayne." She replied, calmly as she settled down.

"You know Fluttershy, I love animals." I was fixing to make my first flirt with her. "And on my planet, you are counted as an animal." I smirked.

She blushed. "Oh, is that so?" She pretended to not comprehend what I did, but I knew she knew what I was talking about.

After a while, I was done helping. I was sweaty all over, which confused me; ponies don't sweat on Earth. I was winded (for you yankees, that is southern talk for exhausted.) I was about to fall asleap when Fluttershy caught my eye. She turned around to go to her bad and it was my chance to look for "plot." I found some plot alright! You cannot describe what I saw. It was freaking unbelievable. Imagine looking at the most beautiful thing ever, combined with heaven, combined with the sexiest thing ever and that's what I saw at that moment. I felt something hit my stomach. I forgot that horse bodies have bigger penises and I had to hide my 12 incher. I think that is smaller than what it should be in pony form...

Luckly, Fluttershy didn't see me. She went to sleep and was doing the most cute snore that your ears could ever hear. I did not clop that night, I SWEAR IT!

* * *

**Author's Note: **How are you enjoying the story so far? I hope you like it. Next chapter may have me singing some Godsmack (on Earth, I suck at singing, but in Equestria, everyone can sing!) Samual may sing some rock or something (he is an actual guy by the way, he is my co-author and his go-by name is Preston.) EVERYONE SAY HI TO PRESTON! Harley is my actual name. Harley, OUT!


	7. Time Bomb

I awoke from my slumber to find Fluttershy cleaning around her home. She was flying in a butterfly like way. That had always been one of my favorite things about her. I streched, still getting used to this pony body, and she heard me. "Oh..." She said, "Umm, good morning... I hope you slept well."

I responded, "Like a baby!"

"That's good... Umm, you want to... uh, help me clean up around my house?"

"Sure, Fluttershy! Anytime!"

She walked to a closet and grabbed some supplies. Obviously for me to help clean her house. She flew back over and hoofed them down to the ground next to me. "Here you go..." I tried using my magic to leviatate them to me, but I still did not have the hang of my magic. Only that one time with Angel did my magic actually get used.

I sighed and picked it up with my hoof. Fluttershy giggled at this and flew to one edge of her house, dusting bookshelves and counters. I went to the other edge, dusting and cleaning everything I could find. I swore I found pornography but I was wrong. I just forgot about that mistake and walked over to another counter and started dusting.

I found a picture of, what it seemed like, her family. I looked at it, I found Fluttershy as a filly; she was small, cute, and beautiful. I turned around to find Fluttershy hovering behind me, admiring her family portrat as I did. I had half on mine to scream, she scared me, but I kept my cool and decided to ask her a question, "Is that your family?"

"Yes, they live in Cloudsdale. They send me letters and I reply when I can."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"In a while. Too long..." A tear ran down her muzzle.

"It's alright, you may be able to soon." I reassured Fluttershy.

"Maybe..." I began, "We can get some money so I can send you there."

"Yes, yes, that would be wonderful. Thank you, Whayne."

"Is there anyplace where I can work? I think I might want to build something. Like a house, or a shed, or a cottage."

"Twilight was looking to expand her library. You can check there, first!"

"Thanks, Fluttershy, but I'll finish helping you first." She nodded in reply.

I walked over to a very dusty corner and started dusting. Fluttershy gave me a duster and a rag soaked in cleaning chemicals. I continued to dust the counter, then I saw a orange stain on the carpet. I just decided it was an apple cider stain. There was no need in trying to figure out what it was. I dropped the rag unto it and used my hoof to rub it. The stain came out like magic.

**A Couple Hours Later...**

"Well, Fluttershy, I'm done cleaning and dusting."

"I suppose you want payment." She reached for her coin purse, but I stopped her dead in her tracks.

"No need, I help my friends." She blushed at this. I continued to say, "Well, I'm off to Twilight's. See ya later!" I waved my hoof in a goodbye salute. She waved back, as I walked out the door.


	8. The Job

**Author's Note: **Hey, I am typing this before I start the chapter WITH NO EDITING AFTERWARDS! Just as a fair warning, there may or may not be clop by the end of this, as I hope it will turn out, elongated chapter. I wish all of my few readers "Good luck" (for an unknown reason.) Also, chapter relevant chapter titles are now out!

I trotted outside of Fluttershy's house, hoping to be able to find Ponyville with no problem. A thought did cross my mind to go back and ask Fluttershy for assistance locating the small town; I immediately disowned that thought for the sight of Fluttershy again might bring about an erection. I close the door of Fluttershy's cottage gently and carefully as the mare is easily startled and frighted.

I trotted down her pebbled "road" into the head of her property. I took a look around, trying to find pegasi flying about, or some kind of sign to point me to the town.

I managed to find, after a fair bit of trotting mind you, my friend or was transported to Equestria with me, Samual. "Yo," I stated. "Sam...ual, whatchu doin'?" I asked him.

He was flying around with Rainbow Dash, apparently trying to get the hang of flying; which reminded me of my inexperience with my, as I so should observe, "powerful" magic. He and her looked down at me, almost in a way surprised, but Rainbow Dash, as always, tried to play the one with swagger and was the one who officially greeted me at that moment. "Hey, Whayne, we're were just practicing some moves, and I am trying to teach this newbie some new ones, as well!"

"That's nice... Hey, Samual, in a minute do you want to tag along with me. I was gong to find a job that Twilight mentioned to Fluttershy. Me and you both need to find jobs if we are going to survive, you of all ponies should know that!"

"Are you even going to give me a chance to answer?!" He flew down in front of me. "You won't even let me talk for half a se-"

"Yeah, yeah, yap, yap. So, are you game or what?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I so hate you... SO MUCH!"

"Yeah, so does your mom. So, you coming?"

"Uggh... Sure, why not?"

"Huh, so are you done here, or do you have some more practicing to do?"

"I guess I can practice some more now..." He replied.

I watched them practice basic techniques, like raising and lowering altitude. (The little stuff counts, too!) They performed some adept and intermediate maneuvers, such as evasive techniques and tricks. It ended with Rainbow Dash showing off as, what I think she'll call it, "payment."

Samual fell to the ground exhausted, but with a surprised look on his face. "I..." He started, breathing heavily. "I never thought... I would be... Flying with R-Rainbow Dash..."

"I know, dude. WE'RE IN EQUESTRIA!' I responded, with extreme enthusiasm.

"So, Sam, you ready to move out. The sooner, the better."

He got up off his hooves and stammered over to me. "Let's go..."

We trotted for about ten minutes in the allotted direction, courtesy of Rainbow Dash. We eventually reached Ponyville, happy ponies trotting along, going everywhere. Some were carrying flowers, or building materials. Some were carrying fruit and vegetables. Some were just having fun, not a single Anthropomorphic care in the world. They did not have any worries as humans did. I was in what heaven is pictured as.

I felt udder tranquility as I passed through all the shops when a mare flew over to me. She had a silver coat, and a yellow mane. It was the non-other Derpy Hooves. She was still derp'd and talked as she normally did. "I have a package for you, Samual and Whayne." She dropped the parcel on my head and flew off. She didn't even ask me to sign anything. We opened the parcel and found two coin pouches, each of them loaded with Bits. I read the from list, "The Mane Six."

"Well, at least they put in for us when we came here. At least we won't- Oh, dear sweet Celestia!" I exclaimed to see Samual rolling around in his loft of money. I was keeping an eye on him to prevent any loose hooves from stealing any of the fallen money.

"Uh... Dude, you got to stop that. Like... RIGHT NOW! We need subsistence, not playtime."

"Killjoy..." He muttered under his breath, hoping I would not hear. Obviously, he failed.

"I heard that, Horse-Face."

"You have one, too."

"Not as bad as your's. Your's is just all fucked up, I can't tell which way is up."

"I am just going to ignore that one entirely."

"LET'S GET A DAISY SANDWICH!"

"No, sandVich!" (With a "V," not a "W")

"Yeah, I guess you're right... I can't tell you how much I have waited to eat one of those." I responded.

"So, go now? Or wait?"

I sat their blank as the white side of a Mustang. ... Still nothing I was doing. He was completly un-nerved by this action.

"Uhhhh, is that a 'go now?"

"Uh-huh..." I finally responded.

"Don't do that again, dude."

"Fine..."

We trotted over to a pony gathering roses by the garden. "Uh, hey, excuese me, fine mare. I was wondering where me and my friend can find some food. We just arrived, you see..."

She handed us two daisy sandwiches that she just pulled from a counter. "I always make extra lunch. Here have some."

"Thank you... uh, what's your name?" I responded.

"Roseluck. My name is Roseluck."

I held my hoof out and an attempt to get a hoof shake. She held out her's and pretty muched "brohoofed."

"I hope we'll be good friends." She responded.

"So will I."

"And me!" Responded Samual.

Me and Roseluck laughed at his eagerness of being into our friendship.

"Yes, you, too, Samual." (That sentence really needed all those commas, too!)

"Don't treat me second rate. You second rate." He responded.

"Whatever, bro. Let's go." I said to him. "And thank you for the sandwiches, Roseluck."

"Yeah, Rosie, thanks for the food!" Added on, Samual.

Me and Samual trotted over to a bench and started chowing down on our sandwiches. They tasted like butter and bread with seasoning. I guess that is the new taste buds I got from being a pony. Samual devoured his in one bight, probably a side effect from drinking all that alcohol when we arrived. "How was your's, Samu-" I looked up to see him flying acrobatics. He was doing Rainbow Dash type things, I only sighed at this. I continued to trot without him, hoping he will follow.

"What up, dude. Don't taze me, bro!" I started to erupt with laughter. Oh, that never get's old, does it?

"Don't worry, I won't taze ya, brother." I responded, trying to catch my breath between chuckles.

**A While Later... At Twilight's House... **(Because I was too lazy to continue with the trotting scene.)

I knocked on Twilight door with my hoof. It made an amusing "clopping" sound. Clop, clop, clop. "Who is it?" She asked from inside.

Samual responded, "Celestia! Who do you think it is?"

Twilight opened the door, she was sorta covered in water, she had a towel around her mane, she obviously was taking a shower. She narrowed eyes at my friend, who did not respond. I had to intervene by placing my pony body in front of the two. "Trust me, Samual, you do not want to make this one mad."

"Says who?"

"Says Celestia! Who do you think!" I chuckled at the payback of his terrible, out of taste joke from earlier.

"Whatev's..." He responded, trotting off to lay down on the soft grass.

"Twi, I heard you informed Fluttershy of a job vacancy, is this correct?"

"Yeah, I told Fluttershy of a job Zecorra had." I thought Twilight was the one planning the job, not Zecorra, so naturally, I was shocked by the news.

"I thought you were the one with the job?"

"No, I merely helped out a mare by informing everypony I knew that there was a job vacancy and to come to me to see it."

"Well, no matter, me and Samual would like to have this 'so called' job."

"Well it is open if you want it, but you'll have to start tomorrow, it is too dark for you to make your way into the Everfree forst. Besides, you'll need a guide anyway..."

"Will Fluttershy qualify."

"Yes, any of us girls will qualify."

"And, Twi, I have a sorta personal question about the pony race."

"What is it?"

"I hope you'll be mature with the answer. How do you ponies menstruate?"

"We actually have a season, which is coming up soon... Four weeks to be precise."

"Thank you for answering, I was just curious..."

She put on a sarcastic smile. "Ohh, I'm sure of it..."

"Hey, I was just curious..."

"So, who's the special somepony?"

"If you must know, Fluttershy."

"Really, she usually stays away from mating..."

"She needs to be comforted by somepony, I want it to be me."

Twilight smiled at this. "D'awww, how sweet."

"So, who are we going to bunk with tonight?"

A feminine voice echoed from behind. "Me." I turned to see it was Rarity, who was eavesdropping this entire time. _"Aww, shit!" _I thought to myself.


	9. Rarity Trouble

**Author's Note: **I AM SOOO FUCKNG SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE! SO MUCH COMPUTER SHIT GOING ON! I HAVE JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR THIS! ENJOY!

Me and Samual followed the white coated pony down into Ponyville away from Twilight's house. Rarity's house was also a shop by what I presumed. She was also one of the only femine ponies I have met, excluding the rombuctious Pinkie PIe and the adorable Fluttershy. Twilgiht was a nerd, a cute nerd. Rainbow Dash, if I hadn't known any better, I would have thought she was a stallion. And finally, Applejack, the redneck pony who I would probably bond well with, since I grew up in a redneck household and community.

Soon, we arrived at Rarity's house - or botique, whichever you will prefer to call it. Me and Samual made our ways inside after Rarity prompted us to do so. These ponies are small compared to Earthly horses, I had just noticed. Anyway, her house was very, very well-build and decorated. It was almost she build it to fit a Queen. Well, she does see herself that way, dosen't she? Carrying on, we made our ways to a couch to the left of the main room, probably a waiting room couch. And we saw all the maniquins all around us... If someone was afraid of those things, which there were so many, it could've made me afraid; they would have had a heart attack right there.

"Well, darlings," She proceded to say, "Can I get any of you a beverage?" She said, obviously picking her words well, like if she was trying to impress either one of us, or both of us. I had a weird feeling about this. Well, mating season was coming up, wasn't it?

"Yes, can I have some water?" Samual said.

'Comg right up! What about you, Whayne, dear?" She said, looking at me.

"Nothing for me." Said I.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Rarity."

"Okay..." She said, trotting away to the kicthen to get some drinks.

"Samual," I said to my friend.

"Yes?" Answered him.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Why?"

"Well, their mating season is coming up, and Rarity is getting you a drink and she was giving you a certain look..."

"Whatchu getting at, Whayne?"

"SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA RAPE US!" I finally anwered.

"No she isn't- WHAT THE HELL!" He screamed, looking over at Rarity who was now dressed in sexy atire.

"Here's your drink, darling..." She said in a seductive tone.

"I'm outta here!" Samual said, galloping. I took a quick look at him galloping and Rarity trying to fuck us. "But, wait, darling! I only wanted to have fun!"

After she said that, I RAN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! I FEARED MY VIRGINITY! IT BELONGS TO FLUTTERSHY!

We galloped all the way back to Twilight's. _If we stay at Twilight's, there will be no chance of us getting raped at all, she wasn't bold enough to do something like that. _We thought. We were wrong.


	10. Damn Their Overpowered Libido

(Hey, follow readers. Sorry for the wait. All the computers I could have possibly been able to update on well broke. Not surprising. But now, I have a laptop. So, I can work on my stories at home, and post them when I am near internet. WOOHOO!

And without further ado, here is _A New World._)

Me and Samuel galloped all the way to Twilight – hoping to outrun the crazy bitch, Rarity, who was hot on our tails. Literately. She had, well, a true, honest-to-Celestia, rape-face. Holy fuck, that would haunt me all my life!

Me and Samuel reached Twilight's property, nearing the door. Rarity had almost caught us. We slammed straight into the door – slamming it open, of course – and locked it behind us.

_**What Twilight was doing...**_

Twilight was enjoying the herbal tea she had made for herself after finally completing her studies for the day. Believe it or not, it hurt her head to study hard all the time, and this tea could really help her headac-

_**CRASH!**_

__"_Fuck! _Close the door. _CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!" _Screamed Samuel as he ran into Twilight, knocking her and her tea onto the living room floor. The tea splattered everywhere across the library – hitting expensive books and a sleeping Spike.

"_HIDE! HIDE!_" Samuel screamed again, flying Celestia knows where. I tried locking the door as frantically as I could; Rarity hoofing the door in a feral manner.

"_Fucking crazy bitch!_" I screamed, running underneath a table, on the verge of having a stroke of some sort. Maybe I already did, who knows?

Twilight, processing what happened, used her magick – used is a light term for it – to teleport both me and Samuel in front of her. Her eyes were huge and feral, and Samuel was in the closest position a pony could get to the fetal position.

"_What _in Celestia's name are _you two doing?!_" She demanded in a slightly lower tone I expected. To tell the truth, she scares me.

Samuel answered, "Running away from your crazy-ass friend." He pointed his hoof to the window – Rarity pushing her face as far into it as she could. Her eyes were watching us closely and without falter. Creepy, once again.

Twilight levitated a calender to her, and examined it closely for a split second, then returned to us – dropping the calender to the floor at her hooves.

"Oh, no! Mating season has come. IT'S TWO WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEADULE!" She exclaimed, galloping around the room, grabbing paper & quill and started writing a note. "It's my duty to inform Celestia when mating season is coming, and my predictions were off. She doesn't want any chaos or rape happening, so she coordinates everything that goes on during it."

Frankly, she was now kinda cute galloping around all worried. Man, this world has some crazy shit. I mean, seriously, talking horses, and mating season? What the fuck is all this?

"_Twilight~_" Began Rarity, looking through and even closer window, "I know you are keeping them to yourself, dear, and it's not lady-like to be selfish." _Should suicide be a valid option at this point?_

"Rarity," Replied Twilight, "You are not raping anymore colts or stallions today. Not like last year." _Yep, suicide. That's the best option at this point._

"Oh, come on, dear, don't be rude," She said to Twilight, then turned to look at us, and whispered, "_And you two don't be shy._" Samuel gulped in fear as I shivered in worry. _Maybe I should kill Samuel before I kill myself? It seems more merciful than what these mares have planned for us._

Twilight finished her note, then called for her assistant, Spike. Spike, as odd as it sounds, took the letter and breathed fire on it. It kinda did a magickal thing before flying or teleporting off to what I presume is Celestia. _Not the weirdest thing, yet, but still – what the magickal fuck?_

Spike was still half asleep, and I would imagine, his back side was burnt with tea. I imagined when it hit him, he jumped up like a cat when you strike it while it is sleeping. _Well, at least it cheered me up._

"What's going on?" Asked Spike to Twilight.

She replied with a worried but studious tone, "Mating season has come early!" She said, her voice raising and octave in a way toward the end. "I have to warn the Princesses before all havoc breaks out along Equestria!"

Spike sighed. "Not this stuff again..." He frowned and sighed again, walking back to his bed. "I don't want to get raped again..."

He proceeded to lay down in his little dog-sized bed. I heard him whisper under his breath, "Even by Rarity... Celestia, not that again..."

I looked to Twilight – she was still scrounging around, looking for items of some sorts and books about various topics. I am guessing that they are about mating season? I really do not know, actually.

She then looked to us, handed us two objects of some sorts, and said, "Keep those near you at all times. Mares are attracted to the hormones stallions give off, and those will mask those hormones."

Samuel put his on almost immediately. It kinda wrapped around your hind-leg like a bracelet. I proceeded in putting mine on. I noticed it had a weird smell to it, probably what masked the hormones. _God, these mares are like fucking teenage groupies near a rock star or some gay boy band._ I thought. _Fuck these creatures, and their overpowered libido._


	11. The Talk

The night passed still and motionless for me. Moonlight coming in through the window of the room we slumbered. I was not afraid in the least bit of the socially awkward, purple pony from molesting or raping us in any way. She was way to nervous and shy to do it; and actually seems less interested in sex than anything else. Samuel had many dreams over the night. He would move and move during the night – restless. I did not sleep.

I had my mind focused on the yellow-pink mare that I could not keep my mind off of. She had that certain smell of flowers that drove me crazy. The way she had hid behind her mane when I first met her was what did it, though. And I never knew I had a thing for shy girls... Or equine beings – for that matter. But she did it – she made me fall in love.

There were so many songs from Earth that reminded me of her. (Though, some people say I am too pushy with my music and trying to make other people listen to it – so I shan't name them. [Though if you shall feel obliged to listen to them at any time, just send me a PM or a review, and I shall name them to you.])

(Back at the story of doom... [Oops...])

She was the kind of female that you would just want to hug forever and not let go. The kind of female you would write volumes of poems about her. The kind of female you will care of and protect and impress until she takes notice of you. The kind of female – the kind of pony – you will fall in love with at first site; and for her – burn with a smile.

(So much restraint in not putting lyrics to a song in here... TimeFather64 will know what band I am thinking of...)

But I was worried. Really worried. What if she had succumb to the same plague that infected Rarity – causing her to go mad with sex. Would I not be able to see her without fearing my virginity?

My mind drifted back to the device Twilight had given us. _I hope that works, Twilight. I hope it does._

For some reason or another, my foreleg became sore. It is possible I sprained it running from the rapist Rarity. I used my other hoof to massage around then underneath the tendon. The relief was almost instantaneous, and the pain had subsided. I could feel all the other little tendons and muscles shift around and migrate in my foreleg's tissue. My mother had always told me I had the hands of a masseuse. And now, I was inclined to believe her.

In my heart, I missed my family, but I would return to them soon enough. At least, by Twilight's word, I will.

I wonder, maybe, just maybe, I was brought here to maybe bring the population up. I had barely seen any male ponies around, and they could be running low – or out – of males. _If that is the case... _I shuddered at the thought that had appeared in my head. _Oh, God, if it is... I'm not sure __if I am to__hate it... Or to love it..._

_Oh, God, why am I thinking like that? These are ponies! Cartoon horses. They aren't sexy, and thinking about them like that is sick, you fuck!_

I slowly nodded off to sleep with my mind arguing – trying to figure out the ethics of it all.

Is it right to think and dirty things to cartoon ponies? _Probably __not._

_Then, why don't you stop it?_

_Why?_

_Because you just it isn't right!_

_Has that ever stopped people – or ponies – for that matter?_

_No..._

The mental argument of ethics continued on for a while, until I made up my mind. I might enjoy this... Very much so...

_**The Next Morning...**_

_I hate Mondays..._

Always my first thoughts when I wake up. Kinda like a morning prayer. A small bit of truth before the day begins.

Samuel smacked his lips, getting onto his legs slowly and carefully. "I wonder what's for breakfast?"

I opened my eyes and rolled to him. _**Oh, my. I just noticed these ponies are naked...** _"_Oh, dude! Cover yourself!"_

"Huh?" He replied, moving his head downward to let underneath himself. He had put his head in between his two forelegs in a very cartoonish fashion _"Oh, FUCK! I AM NAKED UNDER THERE!"_

_What a fucking genius, huh?_

He hobbled around, covering himself the best he could. He tried to find something that could cover himself up with. But there was nothing.

This went on for a few minutes, before Spike mentioned the only three words that could have got Samuel out of this state. "Breakfast is served!"

And boom – like a jet of some sort – Samuel propelled himself forward with both legs and wings to the kitchen of the library. I smelt pancakes & waffles & other assortments of breakfast foods emanating from the kitchen.

And not two seconds later did Samuel start eating. I could hear him eating. Hell, I could _feel _him eating. That was a noise you could not ignore. "Wow," Said Spike, "I thought I _was_ a messy and hungry eater! Twilight always said I was, anyway."

He looked at me, wondering why I was still in the bed with an odd look on my face. Me and him exchanged stares for a few moments before he broke the silence.

"Umm, dude, aren't you going to eat?"

"Yeah, just give me a few."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah and no," I replied, looking back down at the pillow, closing my eyes.

"Well, umm, dude what's the problem?"

"Well..." I began, trying to gather the words from my mind and translate them to something you could say. It was always a feat to do so. You could think and make your argument perfectly in your mind, but the spoken English was always a step back from the thought. (Or is it a step ahead?)

"If I'm a pony, now... Is it normal for me to – _you know_ – with the other ponies."

He looked at me for a few seconds, thinking. He knew what I meant, but he was contemplating the idea.

"I don't know, dude. But if it feels right to you, then it ain't no skin off my back – and why not? Hell, I don't care if you got a cat as a girlfriend!"

He had a point. Everyone has something they like. Of course, horse euphoria was not my thing in the least bit, but I guess I don't have a choice in the matter anymore. And besides, I don't think I could masturbate with hooves in the least bit, so sex was the only option for sexual release.

"I guess you have a point, but it just seems so unnatural."

"Dude, look at me – I'm a dragon, and I have got some ponies myself, but I didn't think it was weird. But wouldn't you think if I had the choice, I would get a dragon instead?"

"Alright, you have another point."

"Look, if you're going to chase some pony tail, chase it. But I wouldn't want to be locked up with no wife all my life."

I slowly got to my hooves and shook my bed head out. It actually worsened it, but wasn't that my goal all along?

Spike walked over and nudged me with his shoulders. "So, who was the special pony you were thinking of, anyway?"

"I'm not sure if I should say..." And I really wasn't.

"Oh, come on, dude. I tell anypony."

"Oh, whatever..." I said, reluctantly and hesitantly. "I like Fluttershy."

"Ah, so, you hoping to woo her?"

"Well, I guess..."

"Well, if you want some advice; be good friends with her animals... Be good friends with her... Make her feel special, and protect her. And Celestia help you and her if you decide to break up with her – I'm not sure if she can take it."

"I don't think she would be able to."

"No, she couldn't" He had said, putting a dragon paw on my shoulder. "Treat her right."

"I will." I said, putting my hoof on his shoulder. "Thanks for the pep-talk, dragon."

"The name's Spike."

"Alrighty, Spike." I said,

_**Meanwhile, At the kitchen table...**_

_**NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM!**_

(I don't think that's enough.)

_**NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM, NOM!**_

(That's better.)

Samuel was chowing down like a teenager in the midst of puberty. He wouldn't relent, and he was almost choking on his food. I swear, Samuel reminded me so much of Naruto.

He shoveled forkful and forkful of waffles and pancakes and toast into his mouth. Who uses a fucking fork for toast?

I trotted in to a nightmare it seemed. With Samuel murdering pounds of food by the second. The only thing he was missing was bacon – of course, he couldn't have any. Fucking ponies...

I sat down across the table from him, and grabbed the cup of coffee Twilight had put down for me. I had to hold it with both hooves. I took a sip from the mug. My eyes widened at the outstanding taste; it was unbelievable. I never had coffee that had tasted this sweet yet potent in my life. It was the perfect mug of coffee ever.

Twilight trotted over to the left of my chair. I had my eyes cloed, enjoying the coffee. "Umm, good morning?" She said, concealing her nerdy tone and taking a look at Samuel. She only slightly startled me.

"He likes the food, I guess?" She asked, her nerdy tone coming back. Why would she actually try to conceal it. It was one of the most awesome voices I have ever heard!

I gulped the rest of the coffee down to speak. "Yeah, he does," I said, slightly amused; smiling barely. "The coffee's great, Twilight!" I said, putting the empty mug down.

"Thanks." She said, feeling proudful and grateful.

I looked to my plate and decided it was time for some food. I reached my hoof in to the pile of waffles drenched in syrup. (Bad idea.) Samuel almost ate my hand off in response. He now didn't give two shits about his plate, and just dove right into all the food. Food went flying as he did. And A waffle landed right in my face not two seconds after I winced back. It slid comically down my face, leaving a trail of syrup down it.

(Does he even give a fuck?)

Twilight grinned, and turned to snicker. Her laugh almost rivaled Fluttershy's on the cute-level. And I couldn't help but to laugh with her.

After a few seconds of snickering, I bent down to pick up the waffle. When I got back up with it, she took it with her magick and placed it in her trash can. (No. One. Make. Fun. Of. That. In. A. Review. Okay?) {Lol, trash can.}

"Hey, Twilight," I said, grabbing her attention, "Do you have any books that might be worth reading... Giving the circumstances, you know..." I asked, giving a coy and cocky grin.

"Ahh, you mean, 'pertaining to mating season'?"

Well, there was no other way to put it.

"Yes."smiling, "I do have some volumes that I had already _read_..."

(Yeah, I bet _read_ is the operating word there, if you catch my drift.)

"Can I borrow them? I know nothing about the pony sexuality."

"Well, I guess..." She said. "But I am warning you. They are graphic and graphical."

(Great... Porno.)

"Umm... Okay?"

"Be careful, and don't get them _dirty._" She said, firm and serious.

"Oh, I won't use them like that, Twilight!" I defended, blushing madly. "It's for pure intellectual need."

"Now, that's a lie." She replied back. "Well, in case they aren't just for some "personal relief," who do you plan to – you know." She said, kinda blusing. Did she hope I was going to say her?

"Well, since I told Spike, I guess it's fair to tell you..." I said, my blush receding. "Fluttershy. I plan to woo Fluttershy."

She looked at me for a second before blinking twice. "Are you sure? I'm not even sure if she knows what sex is?"

"Well, I wasn't going after _that _immediately." I replied. "I just wanted to be her boy-friend – or colt-friend – whatever it's called here – first."

"Then," I continued. "If I – or her – think it's been long enough. Then comes sex."

I had my eyes during the whole last bit of the conversation. She had left in the middle of it, and I had a new audience...

Samuel was eating the last of breakfast in front of me – utterly intrigued.

"Yes?" He asked, expecting me to continue. (Sometimes he _is _a douche.)

"Dude, I didn't even know you were there!"

"Yeah?" He replied. "That isn't even the point! You haven't been here for a week, and you already have your eyes set on some pony tail!"

"I can't help it! You know there are hormones involved, plus me being a horny bastard."

"Yeah, I know you're a horny bastard! That's why you're bi!"

"Yeah, yeah..." I replied.

He was right, I think. I might have become bi overnight because of my horniness or some shit. Whatever, though, I didn't plan on having some huge dick get shoved up me here, so right now, I'm straight.

Twilight came back with several "volumes" of close-to-porno books. One of them was actually a porno mag!

"Thanks?" I said to her, blush flushing back to my cheeks in response that a mare would actually give me this stuff.

"No problem." She said, closing her eyes and smiling. "I don't use them anymore. Those days are over."

Well, maybe she did have a boy-friend – or whatever they call it here. Or maybe she got some sort of sex device. Or maybe a mare-friend, if that floats her boat. Whatever.

**Author's Note: **I'm going to stop it here, fellow readers! This chapter is more lengthy than most, and I hope you like it.

And just so you guys know, I am going to be able to update much more frequently due to my new laptop courtesy of my cousin, Curtis Ward! He is a brony, actually, but not a clopper. So he isn't going to be reading this.

Give him thanks, if you are kind enough to, and I shall give it to him on behalf of all of Fanfiction.

And if you have any suggestions on how I can improve my own writing, or the story, or just report a grammar issue I committed, please feel free to tell me in a review.

**ROCK ON AND CLOP ON! MAY MLP LIVE ON!**


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